Arguing

When I first asked C.P. about argument in her culture, she was surprised by my question. She told me that what we as Americans consider an argument is completely different from what Punjabis consider a argument.
First arguments usually start with two people, like all arguments. However as C.P. explained, arguments usually end up as a group debate. In her culture elders speak first-before anyone. Also when an argument is unfolding, every member-especially the younger participants- must be wary of that their tone always remains respectful. As I understood her explanation, one may seem condescending or offensive if the tone in which he is speaking does not remain at least mostly pleasant. Maintaining respectfulness among all participants of an argument is paramount; if one side is disrespected, a simple argument can lead to bigger issue. As C.P. explains, the culture is very “hotheaded”. Friendly debates are very welcome, even encouraged- but disrespecting or belittling someone (most especially an elder or any person who is significantly older) is not acceptable.
Arguments happen anywhere, but usually occur either in the family home or in certain public locations, such as cafés, tea houses, or markets. There is not any particular way argument is used as a genre in Punjabi. From what C.P. tells me, Punjabi is a very argumentative culture, and it is not offensive to argue with family members or even elders, so long as one keeps the tone light and friendly. The Panjabi people are very bold and outspoken. I have known Punjabis to be extremely direct and blunt.
At the end of the argument there has to be an amenable conclusion, and this occurs when a participant begins to try and bring things to a close, by conceding that all points of view are valid or have some truth. Then, all remaining parties make similar concessions and acknowledge the point of view of all others. This is generally what happens; however if a participant wishes to continue arguing his/her point, all concessions are quickly forgotten and the debate heats up once again. All parties will continue to argue and the argument can lead into early morning hours, until everyone is exhausted. I know by personal experience- if you ever happen to get caught up in an argument with a Punjabi family, just make certain you have a few hours to spare.